White Storks, Zeist, the Netherlands

These storks are a BBC miniseries set in the 50s. These storks are a knockoff. These storks drink tea at four and never wear sweatpants out of the house. These storks have child-rearing advice to give: flat, wide open nests, not too much sugar, and a healthy respect for crows. By night, these storks are a Hitchcock film, but not the obvious one. These storks are Vertigo or _________ (it’s been awhile since I’ve watched any, and these storks just won’t stand for casual name-dropping for cultural cache). These storks wear feather boas to bed and appreciate a good Pollock and worry about their investments. These storks think the neighbor's solar panels are tacky, but will be converted if they ever see the bill. These storks chose to nest on a platform above a small town because people are a deterrent to predators and so they can feel superior to those beneath them.